Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Adventures in blogging

I am an avid blog reader. I read blogs by strangers and by friends, by people whom I will never meet and by people I see almost every day. There are a few things I've noticed about good blogs and these are the rules I will take on for myself. Along with some necessary boundaries.
1. I will tell the truth. I think that many of life's sorrows result from deceiving ourselves - seeing things as we wish they were instead of as they are. We paint a rosy picture on top of a horrible situation to keep from facing the truth, or, conversely, dig up dissatisfaction where it is not justified. That's why people who are always happy - or always mad - are so difficult to deal with. They do not deal in reality. More discussion on this subject at a later date.
2. I will not be falsely cheery, as many "family" blogs are. "I am just so blessed and lucky and my wonderful kids and my fabulous husband and I'm happy all the time and my life is so satisfying and I just want to share my joy...". Gag,Vomit. If I ever sound like a holiday newsletter I hope someone has the decency to drive to my house and bitch slap me. Self-congratulation is just bad manners.
3. I will not be sentimental. Emotional, probably, but never sentimental. I'm just not a goopy person and I despise sentimentality - it is usually a disguise for manipulation.
4. I will not name names. I will often discuss people - friends, family, the checkout girl at HEB, even authors, celebrities, saints and historical figures. When necessary I will assign code names - "Thelma" and "Chad" come to mind - so as to avoid getting in (as much) trouble if I am being uncomplimentary toward someone who may be hurt by it.
5. I will not discuss my husband. He and our relationship are off limits. This rule is for my own benefit, in order to keep from damaging my marriage beyond repair in a fit of pique just because he moved my shoes. He will show up peripherally, of course, but I will respect his privacy.
6. I will frankly discuss my children and hope fervently that they never read this.
7. I will use correct grammar and spelling. I am a grammar Nazi and I am peeved beyond all reason at the way educated people butcher our language. There is just no excuse for choosing incorrectly from among "their, they're, there" or "you're, your" or "it's, its" or "except, accept" or for pluralizing with an apostrophe S if you completed the fourth grade. I'll allow some latitude for "stationary/stationery" because it's confusing and pretty esoteric. And I will always cringe at comma splices.
8. I will often be profane, raunchy, explicit, or just plain gross, but never in a gratuitous way.

This is a beginning, at least. I am doing this for myself but I really hope that I develop a readership because it would make me feel very cool.


Cathy Noble said...

Welcome to blog world! So glad you're here. I can tell already that this will be one of my favorites!

Lacey said...

Yep, you'll be good at this....You are so witty. I remember at my baby shower for Ellie telling you to write a book- I guess for now, this will have to do. :0) Welcome to the blogging world...let the addiction begin!!

Anonymous said...

Raunchy doesn't offend me! I'm ready for some laughs! Bring it on, girlfriend! :) Tiff Hayes