Hi there blogosphere. Sorry for the prolonged absence. October and November were not a good time for me and I'm afraid the blogging turned into one more thing I was not doing well enough, so I gave up for a while. But amid my resolutions for the New Year 2009 is a promise to blog more often and to not hold myself to such a high standard - think less literature and more cynical bitching and "guess what my kids did today".
For anyone interested, here are all my resolutions so far:
1. I will get on a normal sleep schedule. I have a bad habit of staying up far too late - it is not at all unusual for me to be awake at 2 am, even on weeknights. I'm not doing anything important - piddling on the computer, plucking my eyebrows, reading, folding laundry, watching TV - but somehow I always manage to still be doing it at 1:00, then I have to get ready for the next day and get ready for bed. I also have the very bad habit of getting hungry around 11:30 and eating several hundred calories' worth of complete junk - Coke, chips, chocolate, Cheez-its, you get the picture. I average five hours of sleep a night during the week. For some folks this is enough, but my body really needs seven and eight is better. My thoughtful husband lets me sleep late on weekends to make up - often until lunchtime - but I know this is not beneficial in the long run, as it messes up my internal clock even more and causes me to miss out on weekend activities and church. Also, my husband then expects me to take over kids in the afternoons so he can nap, which is perfectly reasonable, but again prevents many activities and/or excursions. So I am determined to get my sorry ass into bed by 11:30 and turn out the light before midnight, every night, without the late-night calorie dump. That will help immensely with the other resolutions as well as improving my overall well-being and making me less grumpy and less fat, I hope.
2. I will improve my diet. I don't really eat too much food, but I eat way too much junk. I very rarely prepare a meal for myself - lean meat, vegetable, whole grain. My meals tend more toward Sun Chips and Snickers bars - things I can grab out of the pantry and eat right away with no effort and no dishes to wash. I've justified this to myself for years by saying that my overall calorie consumption is not excessive - it's not like I eat a big square meal and then add all this stuff. But I'm forced to confront the fact that I usually feel like crap, I'm ten pounds overweight, and vitamins - even the mega-green kind - are not a substitute for a healthy, balanced diet. So it's time to quite buying and eating packaged junk and start preparing meals - especially at lunchtime. I'm thinking the Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine meals plus some fresh fruits and veggies are the best plan - I know I won't actually cook anything but I can pop a tray in the microwave . I also need to prepare a healthy dinner for my husband and me instead of getting takeout four nights a week, and I need to have a bowl of cereal instead of a candy bar when I get the hungries.
3. I will take my children to church. This one hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of weeks ago when I realized my four-year-old daughter did not know the words to "Away in a Manger". Since I left home to go to college I have not regularly attended church. I believe in God, our loving Father and omnipotent Creator. I believe in Jesus the Savior, the living Son of God who became a man, died to redeem our sins, and reigns in Heaven, and I have taught these things to my children. We've never attended church with any regularity, though, and since we moved to Katy two years ago we've visited several churches but haven't really found one we liked. Being brutally honest, much of the problem is that church happens on Sunday mornings, a time that I like to spend sleeping and my husband likes to spend tackling his to-do list. Also, the husband and I have divergent views of an ideal church - I like a choir, an organ, and a liturgy, and he likes a casual-dress rock concert. We've attended both kinds here in Katy but not really liked any of them. At any rate - it's time to quit making excuses and get my children some kind of religious instruction on a regular basis, so I'm going to pick a church and attend at least twice a month.
4. I will quit being late all the time. Habitual lateness is a terrible habit that has plagued me since childhood. I end up being barely on time or late almost everywhere I go. Despite careful plans and good intentions, I end up rushing and still not making it on time. I've figured out my problem (besides oversleeping because I stayed up too late): I always plan to be on time, and therefore any delay or snag pushes me into lateness. You'd think by now I'd have figured out that delays and snags are part of life, especially with kids. So here's my plan: I'm going to follow my husband's example and plan on being early. If I build in an extra ten or fifteen minutes I can actually arrive on time. I also will abandon the delusion that I can go from wet hair and no makeup to ready in twenty minutes.
5. I will blog! I'm not giving myself a schedule, but I am going to quit requiring cleverness or weighty subject matter before I'll post anything. Because that did not work out so well.
I'm hoping that making these resolutions a matter of public record will make their implementation more likely and more permanent. So here's hoping 2009 is a better year for everyone than 2008 and that I do better in it.